My Boy – The Student of the Month

Jason Koteen
March 17, 2012

Jason Koteen

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I experienced a highly sought out milestone recently. My son earned the student of the month honors in his kindergarten class. Specifically, he rose to the top based on being “Generous and Thoughtful” and his certificate honorably states that he won based on his “Citizenship”. Mom and I are deeply proud of him, but I can’t seem to shake the fact that he didn’t win this based on academic ahievement. I mean, generous and thoughful? Does my son give out his lunch snacks or pass opportunities on to more aggressive and vocal bullies? To further fuel my skepticism he was awarded one of those fancy “My Child was Student of the Month at…” stickers! What horror! All these years I watched as these mini-vans pranced around with these babies slapped on to their urban assault vehicles as if saying, ” My kid is better than yours” or ”yours will never be as smart as mine.” There is no way that sticker will ever see the polished chrome of my bumper. First, I hate bumper stickers unless of course it says NY Yankess, the World Champion NY Giants or Long Live the Grateful Dead. Secondly, why display such utter nonsense as every child will ultimately receive one of these suckers throughout their tenure in kindergarten – another example of everyone earns a trophy. I’d prefer to display this award in a scrapbook, slap it on his bunk bed or snap a photo of it with him so we can treasure it for years to come.  After all, my Toyota will only last for so long and now I’m fully aware of the scam. Congratulations Jacob, we are always proud of you. We will, however, continue working on your multiplication facts and teach you not to give away your lunch.

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