The Opening and Closing of Doors in Parenthood

Donovan Grant
July 16, 2012

Donovan Grant

Lives in: London
From: London
Occupation: IT Business Analyst, Performance & Youth Coach
Web: http://www.donovangrant.com
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It’s funny how as one door closes another opens in parenting. In our family the door is closing for my eldest daughter. She has recently graduated from Uni and she’s decided to join the world of work. So as she closes the door on full-time studying, she is opening the door on full-time working.

Ordinarily we’d all be jumping up, shouting and celebrating but on this occasion, another door is being closed.  Our eldest daughter is leaving home to work abroad in Norway.

How painful would it be for your daughter or son to return home and say “hi mum and dad, I’m leaving home to go live abroad?”

We have been getting used to it while she was studying away from home for four years, but nothing can really prepare a parents heart for that moment. It’s all part of life’s tapestry. And the truth is we have told all three of our children to live a full life, stretch their comfort zones and expand their horizons so “in your face mum and dad!”

I guess it’s God’s humorous way of saying be careful what you wish for when you raise children…

Now here’s the thing that I didn’t know – there is a condition called the empty nest syndrome! As far I know it has not made it to the medical dictionary yet, but it is definitely something that mums particularly can suffer with. In fact in theUK, it is so common that the charity Parentline have set up a dedicated dial-in service for parents to get help!

I’m pretty sure when September comes round and she’s off that we’ll all be a little sad but that’s ok. After all she is our first born. As long as we’re still not holding on to the sadness then we’ll be just fine. Heck we still have two more in the nest yet, so it can hardly be called empty.

On the plus side, the great thing about the 21^st century is that is it is so easy to keep in touch with our families virtually anywhere in the world. With telephone, internet, Skype, Facebook, twitter and the other social media it is just like living around the corner. Providing that they want to talk to us of course. J

Being a bit of a Wordsworth I’ve already started thinking what will I say to Anja when she goes. These three gifts came to mind as I write…

#1 – Let us know if and when we can help…. we wish you the best and love you

#2 – We love you honey so you go and just be the best that you can be

#3 – It’s time to become your own person now, be well, we believe in you and remember you can return to the love you will always hold for you.

Is there a solution for parents? Well yes, kind of and it’s going to take a stretch to handle it. Give the situation a new meaning. Rather than see it as a loss, see it as the start of an opportunity to begin a brand new challenge. See it as a chance to learn a new hobby or just a time to have more quality time with the rest of the family. Oh and don’t forget, one less child in the house is going to save you money!

I’m getting the feeling that the anticipation of children leaving home is scarier than when they actually do leave; so I’m sure we’ll be ok. When you ponder on the meaning of the moment, you realise that it is time for mum and dad to graduate too. It’s time for us to move on and move up to the next level in life. It’s time to open another door in our lives.

Let’s continue to raise our children for success!

With gratitude

Donovan

What do you think about your children leaving home? Have you got any interesting stories about when you left home? Leave your questions and comments in the box below.

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