I Can’t Believe the New York Times Called Me Rude

Nicholas Bhasin
August 29, 2012

Nick

Lives in: Sydney
Web: http://www.daddyslittlemiracle.com/
Twitter: @nickbhasin

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You guys, I don’t normally like to be dragged into parent-related controversies.  Being a parent isn’t easy and everyone out there is just doing their best.  Sure, my best is a lot better than other people’s bests.  But I’m naturally gifted at parenting.

So you can imagine my outrage when the New York Times called out a parent for leaving his or her kid’s recital early because it was “rude” to the other kids.  I think.  I don’t know exactly because I was so outraged I didn’t read much past the headline.  (And if we’re being honest with each other, my outrage prevented me from reading most of the headline, too.)

But what I do know is that it’s hard to sit through much of anything when you have a child.

Take my two-year-old, for instance.  Yes, he’s a little miracle, but he could barely summon the patience to get through a presentation of his own artwork at daycare.  Once they showed his finger painting – “an abstract, blue period impressionist nude attack on capitalism” is what he called it – and it became clear that there would be no actual prizes, the boy practically dragged me out of the place.

“Let’s get the fudge out of here,” he demanded.

“But that would be rude,” I said.

“I don’t give a shorts.  These people are losers.  Losers!  Look at my painting.  It’s magic.  Now look that the rest of this crap.  Do you really want to stick around and pretend to care about this garbage?  No.  Let’s go.”

In fact, because of my demanding child, I’ve had to leave all kinds of things.

Here’s a quick list:

Movies

Plays

The ballet

Flash mobs

Poetry slams

Hibachi cookery theatrics

Fireworks displays

Baseball games

Hoedowns

Hot dog eating contests

Laser light shows

Plushy fetishist meetings

Southern US secessionist meetings

Seances

A quiet dinner with Michael Corleone, Sollozzo and police captain McCluskey (actually, it’s probably better that we left that early)

The Olympics

The “Ho-lympics” (don’t ask)

Comic Con

Con Air

Hungry Hungry Hippos tournament

Protest against President Obama’s radical socialist Muslim Christian capitalist banker bailout agenda

Blue Man Group

The acclaimed concert series, Mozart Played Backwards

Duran Duran reunion concert featuring Nancy Reagan on drums

The royal wedding

The royal salad shop

LeBron James’s “The Decision” taping (did he stay in Cleveland?)

Boat show

Boat shoes show

An evening of monologues featuring Bubba “Shoes Show” Reynolds

When Roy Hobbs hit that big homerun and smashed the ballpark lights

So, I’m sorry I’m so rude, New York Times.

But sometimes that’s what good parenting’s all about.

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For a lot more of this sort of thing – too much, really – check out Daddy’s Little Miracle.

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