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The Third Inning (AKA when we left the baseball game on my birthday because my kids are crazy)

Follow Tommy Riles Tommy Riles
September 20, 2012

Tommy Riles

Tommy Riles

Lives in: Los Angeles
Occupation: Comedian & Audience Warm-up, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Life of Dad Founder
Twitter: @tommyriles
Facebook: 575811228

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Over the years I’ve gone to many baseball games on my birthday.  It just always seemed to be a good reason to get a bunch of friends together, have some beers, and take in a ballgame.

Angels Stadium was often the preferred option, because tailgating was legal, and a blast.  We would play bean bags, drink somewhat heavily, and rarely make it in before the third inning.  We were just having too much fun in the parking lot.

My biggest concern at the time was if I would get stopped trying to sneak beers into the game.  And yes, I did get caught once…the beer was poorly hidden near my crotch.

After watching the game, and getting rowdier as it went on, we would go to a local bar afterwards and close out the night.

Well, this year for my birthday, my wife got me four tickets to an Angels / Red Sox game.  This would be my son’s first ballgame…undoubtedly it would be a perfect memory that we would hold on to forever and ever.

It started out poorly, as it took 2.5 hours to drive the 50 miles to Angel Stadium.  It had to get better after that, right?

We brought the kids into the stadium, and as soon as we took our seats, the kids were content for about 10 minutes.  We smiled, we laughed, and we took great pictures.

Then the game started.  Babs wanted to take a walk.  Baby Tommy wanted to eat.  I wanted a beer.  Everybody wanted something.

We ate hot dogs, nachos, and I drank my beer.  Then Babs wanted to take another walk.  Tommy wanted milk.  Babs got antsy.  Tommy started crying.

After the walk, Babs wanted to take yet another walk.  After the milk, Tommy wanted baby food.  This cycle continued throughout the first and second innings.  I barely had a chance to look at the field, or the score.

By the third inning, Babs was even crankier and Tommy was screaming.  We through in the flag.  We left the game in the third inning.

On our walk through the parking lot, people tried to sell us tickets to the game, thinking we hadn’t made it in yet.

Then we say groups of people just entering the stadium, right after they had finished tailgating.

It was, after all, only the third inning.


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