First Steps (And The Scream Heard ‘Round The World)

Tommy Riles
September 26, 2012

Tommy Riles

Lives in: Los Angeles
Occupation: Comedian & Audience Warm-up, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Life of Dad Founder
Twitter: @tommyriles
Facebook: 575811228

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On Sunday, I was washing the dishes, while my 9.75 month old son, Tommy, was hanging out by the dishwasher.  He had one hand on the bottom shelf as I was loading it up.  Father and son were working together to clean up after lunch.

Then we heard a scream.  The scream came from right behind us…in the same room!

“Aaaaaaaaaiiiiiihhhhhhhhhh!”

What was going on?

I turned around and saw my wife screaming, and scanned the room to see what was wrong.  Tommy was now on the ground, and I hit the deck for cover.

“Aaaaaaaaaiiiiiihhhhhhhhhh!”

Knowing I had to stand tall and protect my family, I asked my wife, Lucy, what was wrong.  If we were in danger, I was ready to grab a sharp knife, and protect the legacy of Riles.

As she continued to vocalize, I saw that there was a smile on her face.  What was going on?  Was Santa here?  Did the Bears win the Superbowl in September?  Was she pregnant?  (Insert scared look)

In an impressively high-pitched voice, while walking towards baby Tommy, Lucy said, “Tommy just took his first steps!”

Allegedly, he let go of the dishwasher, took two baby steps on his own, and then fell to the floor when my wife started the piercing scream.

Based on how alarmed I was by the screaming, I’m certain Tommy must have been traumatized.

It’s four days later, and Tommy hasn’t attempted steps again, yet.

I still hear that screaming with every step that I take.

Does Tommy believe he’ll hear that every time he tries to walk?  How long will it take him to overcome his fear?

I’m going to go get some coffee now, but I’m going to walk very slowly, in case I hear…

“Aaaaaaaaaiiiiiihhhhhhhhhh!”

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