Impresstidigitation

Curtis Frost
October 5, 2012

Curtis Frost

Lives in: Birmingham, AL
From: Pell City, AL
Occupation: Multimedia Marketing
Web: http://www.onestepfather.com/
Twitter: @OneStepFather
Facebook: curtis.frost1

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I’ve never really understood why some people think magic is dorky.  Look, I know it’s mostly slight-of-hand and misdirection, but it’s still impressive.  I’ve seen Criss Angel get run over by a steam roller, David Copperfield make the Statue of Liberty disappear and walk through the Hoover Dam, and David Blaine channel the dadgum tap-dancing devil to make some poor random soul’s ex-boyfriend’s name appear in ash on his chest.  It’s too bad he exhausted his nefarious powers all Spawn-style and had to resort to freezing himself in a block of ice.

When I was two, I saw magic firsthand.  My dad could point at the television, say “Shazam!” and change the channel!  I was mystified.  It was as if he had some sort of remote control over the tv, allowing him to change the channel and volume without ever getting out of his chair! (Side note: Remember when every living room had “dad’s chair” and “mom’s chair?”  Does that exist for anybody these days?)

I work steadily at convincing Sean that I have powers beyond human comprehension.  We pass a particular tree on the way to and from his school.  This tree has a sizeable hole in it, and Sean has reservedly accepted that I punched that hole into that tree with my comic-book level powers.  He takes after his mom in that he is both good-looking and smart, so he occasionally asks for me to repeat this amazing feat on one of the trees in our yard when we get home.

“But Sean, I can’t.  Remember when I punched down that big tree in our yard, and the men had to come cut it up?”

“You didn’t do that, Daddy.  Do another tree.”

“Oh, geez, look at the time!  We need to go inside for supper, and I need to pee.  Maybe next time, sport!”

I also use the combined power of magic and bribery to astonish and coerce my son into behaving using the ancient art first crafted by everybody’s grandfather.  I reach behind his ear and slip my fingers into an alternate dimension, allowing me to pull a coin from that rip in space and time.  He’s always super excited, but his advanced brain has decided that if I produce a measly little dime, I need to put it back so it can “finish growing into a quarter.”  If I keep this up, I may be forced into magically producing twenties, which would require me to also magically pull some cash out of my own butt.

Magic is a fun, new thing that we’re sharing.  We sat down recently and watched multiple tricks from a show called “Fool Us” starring Penn and Teller.  This show is based on magicians trying to perform tricks that two of the greatest magicians of our time cannot figure out.  Every time the performer delivered the prestige (lingo I learned from the movie where awesome collided with a thunder-punch resulting in David “Freaking” Bowie playing Nikola “Suck it, Edison!” Tesla), Sean’s eyes would get really big and he would smile and say, “Wow!”

His amazement is my favorite part right now.  He’ll hit a point soon where the fantastic is no longer believable for him.  I’m going to enjoy these moments as much as I can while I can.  I’ll pull my thumb off, find random things behind his ear, and predict what happens when we’re watching a movie from when I was little.  Some day he’ll be like the rest of us, jaded by life’s biggest buzzkill: science.

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