Seven Things You Can Learn From Richard Verlander

Kevin Duy
October 11, 2012

Kevin from SportsDadHub

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Tonight Justin Verlander will take the mound in game 5 of the American League Divisional Series. When I was younger, I often wondered and imagined what it would feel like to play in such a huge game. Now that I’m a Sports Dad, I wonder and imagine what it would feel like to watch one of my sons play in such a game.

Richard Verlander (aka “Justin’s dad”) knows all too well. He’s watched his son pitch in every big game imaginable, from the World Series to the All-Star game. It’s been an amazing ride and he’s enjoyed every minute of it.

Richard learned a thing or two while raising two boys like Justin and his younger brother Ben. A few months ago, I had the chance to  interview Richard Verlander about what it was like to raise two exceptional young men, who happen to be exceptional baseball players. (Do you remember the scene in Bull Durham when the minor league players were gathered around Crash Davis as he told them what it was like to be in “The Show”? That’s how I felt when I talked to Richard. :>)

Here are the top seven things he shared that I think we can all learn from:

#7. Help Your Kids Find Their Passion
Richard believes, “One of our biggest responsibilities as parents is to help our kids figure out what their gift is. Whether it’s being a great teacher, healer, coach, or whatever. Every child isn’t going to have an athletic gift.”

I couldn’t agree with Richard more. If you sign up your son to play soccer and he doesn’t like it, that doesn’t mean he won’t love basketball. And if he doesn’t like basketball, that doesn’t mean he won’t love tennis. Keep trying different sports until he finds one he enjoys. If sports aren’t his thing, let him try scouts, karate, art or countless other activities. The key is to keep encouraging him to discover something he loves.

#6. Help Them Create A Plan
“Having a dream is really just a fantasy without a plan. Once you identify what it is they love to do, then help them try to figure out how to pursue that dream.”  Richard says.

Make sure your plan is age-appropriate though. (i.e., The extent of a 6-year old’s plan is pretty much to sign him up for a sport he loves and play it with him when he wants to play.)

#5. Don’t Discount The Impact Of Your Child’s First Teachers And Coaches
Coaches and teachers play a pivotal role early on. They have a huge influence on the development of your child. When Justin Verlander first started school, he was “Sort of fidgety and had a little too much energy going on.” Richard recalled.  He talked a lot in class and had already been told that he needs to be more like the other kids. The suggestion of getting him on medication was also made to Richard and Kathy Verlander. But his second grade teacher embraced Justin’s individuality and encouraged him to be who he was. She said, “Justin’s a handful, but I love him. I really think when he’s properly focused and channels his energies that all this is going to really turn into something special someday.” That’s when Justin started to feel more positive about school and better about himself.

Richard encourages young parents to look for individuals, like Justin’s second grade teacher, who will be a positive figure in your child’s life. To use a baseball analogy, “Who you play for, is a lot more important than where you play.”

#4. Control Is Key: In Pitching & In Life
As a pitcher, having a great arm doesn’t matter much if you can’t control where you throw your pitches. The same is true in life. Regardless of how much talent you have, if you lack self-control, success won’t last long. Richard talks about how Justin had a few buddies and teammates who were exceedingly talented and learned everything there was to learn about playing the game, but not so much about their life. “And so they ended up self-destructing. They didn’t allow themselves to be successful.”

“If you’re not raising a good person, then really the sport doesn’t become as important down the road. Because the kid is not going to be able to translate into being successful. And that’s, for us, the most important thing.” Verlander said.

#3. Character Is Equally Important
Once college and professional scouts see that an athlete has a lot of talent, the next thing they look for is his character. They don’t want to invest in a player who has a ton of talent but lacks self-control and is a bad guy. When Justin was being scouted by the Tigers, they sent scouts to talk to teachers, coaches and even the Verlanders’ neighbors. They wanted to know what kind of person Justin was. They’re investing in the person just as much as they’re investing in the talent.

#2. Don’t Put Unnecessary Pressure On Your Son To Succeed
If it’s evident that your son is gifted athletically, don’t put lofty expectations on his shoulders. Richard talks about how some “little league dads” label their son the next Sandy Koufax. Once that label is placed on your son, he’ll feel like he’s letting you down if he’s not the absolute best at everything he does. That’s simply not fair.

#1. Live In The Moment
In my opinion, this is the best advice Richard provided in the interview. If you have a son with some athletic talent, don’t look ahead and focus on the next level. Enjoy the time you have to watch him grow and develop while he’s young. Take care of where you are now, and the future will take care of itself.

“Don’t get so caught up in whatever the next wrung on the ladder is that you lose sight of  those (younger) years. Justin’s a superstar now, but he’s a grown man. My fondest memories are still with little league. Mom and dad and little brother getting in the car and going on the trips and travel team and the time we had as a family. You can’t get that back. That absolutely is the special time. And I really think that sometimes people lose sight of that because they’re so caught up in getting to the next level. And sometimes that next level never comes and you look back and think, ‘gee, we kinda missed it.’” 

Whatever you do. Make sure YOU don’t miss it. Starting…now.

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