Are We Spoiling Our Kids Just to Keep Them Happy?

Phil Aguilar
November 1, 2012

Phil Aguilar

Lives in: Andover, MN
From: Andover, MN
Occupation: Printing/Student
Web: http://afatherswritings.com
Twitter: @sdadpls3
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In some conversations I have had over the last few years I have come to realize that very few parents agree on how to be an effective parent. Is our main objective to make our kids happy or is it to prepare our children to be a productive member of society? If it is to make our kids happy then we should keep on doing what we are doing.   Get them everything or do everything for them to keep them from getting crabby. Nobody likes crabby kids.

Now I know that sounds ridiculous but if you think about it that’s pretty much what we do. Our culture continues to tell us what will make us happy but how long will that happiness last?

I just finished a Macroeconomics class that was very enlightening. It is pretty obvious that the US is the leading consumer in the world. We just can’t get enough stuff. Doesn’t matter what it is, we buy it. That doesn’t mean we need it but we buy it anyways. The foreclosure debacle is proof of that.

I am as guilty as the next guy but what are we telling our kids.

Buy more, be happy. That’s what we’re telling them.

I think most of us believe this kind of behavior is not healthy for our kids but do we have the balls to stop doing what our culture says to do. I see so many kids nowadays that feel it is their right to have whatever the other guy has.

Our government even encourages us to spend more to stimulate the economy and create more jobs so we can then spend more. This just makes it that much harder to raise responsible kids that have an idea how to find true happiness.. They grow up and do the same thing we do.

Back to the point of all this. Should we focus on making our kids happy? Of course we want our kids to be happy but that isn’t what I am talking about. From what I understand happiness is fleeting.

Happiness is based on circumstances and they change all the time. When we give our kids a new toy or a new electronic device (teens) they are more than likely happy. But what happens when that new toy isn’t new anymore. Or a new and improved version of that phone comes out.

All of a sudden they aren’t happy anymore. As parents most of us have experienced the unbelievable excitement Christmas morning when the kids open their presents and are bouncing off the wall.

Years ago I bought my kids a present that I thought they would love. I was more excited about them opening it than any present ever before. It was a table hockey game that was just like the one I had as a kid.

Yeah, I know it sounds kind of corny but you have to understand my family. All the kids wanted to do was play hockey all the time.

When they opened it they went crazy. They seemed to love it. I thought they were going to play with this thing forever. In the end, I actually ended up wanting to play it more than they did but it was a two player game so it ended up slid under someones bed and forgotten about.

The “happiness” wore off.

We are failing to do what we should be doing as parents. Again, I want my kids to be happy just like any of you but how we go about that is all wrong.

It’s hard being a parent that has to say no once in a while. I look around and I see other kids with the $250 hockey stick, or the $200 cell phone and think I better work some overtime so my kids can have the best just like everyone else. I get caught up in the whirlwind and lose focus on what’s most important.

Many years ago, when I was married we ran from one activity to another nonstop. One parent on my block said “all I ever see is your garage door going up and down everyday all day.” Of course I laughed and kept right on going.

Now I look back and wish I could just sit down at the dinner table with my three kids for a night. Shut the world out with no distractions. No sporting events, no cell phones vibrating, and no work to have to rush off too.

I remember when I was a kid my dad was everywhere for me. What I don’t really remember is the Christmas presents or the birthday presents that I received. They didn’t really make an impact. What made the impact on me was the time I got from the ones that loved me.

I didn’t think it was that big of a deal then, but it left an indelible mark on me that has never left. The junk I got for Christmas and birthdays….is in a landfill somewhere.

Probably the same landfill as that tabletop hockey game I got my kids.

I would love to hear what you have to say on this topic. Am I right or way off? Lets start a conversation on things that are real…and important.

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