The messages in the media being transmitted to young girls are, for lack of a better word, confusing. Be sexy, but don’t be too sexy. Be smart, but don’t be too smart. Be funny, but don’t be too funny. Be the hero, but need to be saved by another main character. It is frustrating as a parent watching the young women and girls of today having to fight against such unfair (and often inappropriate) standards.

We need to be taking a greater role in encouraging positive, life affirming character traits and priorities in our girls. Ones that will help them find empowerment in their own abilities. These are the sixteen I personally feel are most crucial.

  1. To Be Confident In Themselves – Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone is unsure of themselves. We should let our children know those two facts, and start from there to build a greater sense of confidence in who they are, not who they think they need to be. Such lessons are tied to self esteem, a crucial element of a teen girls development.
  2. To Be Bookish – Reading opens us up to new ideas, and experiences different than our own. Teaching our daughters to read voraciously is one of the best ways to expand their minds,
  3. To Be Healthy – Health means more than just the body. It also means the mind, the spirit, and the emotional center of our lives. The idea of holistic health in every area is one that we should be passing down the generations.
  4. To Be Emotionally Mindful – So often our daughters are getting the message that showing emotion is weak. Really, we should be teaching our kids of both genders that being emotionally open and aware are a strength.
  5. To Be The Best Friend They Can Be – Nothing is better than being a good friend, but it is a partially learned behavior. Patience, communication, caring, and loyalty are all a part, and all wonderful trait to pass onto our girls.
  6. To Be Physically Able – Being active and fit is one of the most important lessons we can put in our children early on. In a world where we are so sedentary, we have to hammer home the importance of getting up and moving.
  7. To Have Compassion – Compassion and empathy are becoming almost lost characteristics in a world where cynicism and nastiness is glorified. Just think of some of the shows we watch…so many of the characters are sarcastic, or even cruel. It is making our youth more disaffected than ever. To instill compassion and selflessness to our kids, we can expose them to different charitable activities and encourage them to be involved in a Disaster Relief Outreach Program or volunteer in Family Homeless Shelters. We can also introduce shop to provide cancer support and other charitable projects to our kids.
  8. To Be Educated – Education is such a priority in today’s world. We should be pushing our daughters to do well in school, graduate, and go to college.
  9. To Be Active Listeners – What does it mean to really listen to someone? It mean connecting, engaging, and understanding. While children are taught a bit of this, it is more in relation to their school work. It could go a long way towards positive relationships if we expanded the idea to something more.
  10. To Be Financially Independent – Every young woman should be placed to take care of herself moving forward. Emphasizing the importance of being financially stable (not rich) is a great lesson.
  11. To Be A Good Romantic Partner – You may think that this has nothing to do with you, but it does. Children learn positive and healthy relationships from their parents and those close to them. If you don’t show them, they won’t know moving forward how to be a good partner…or find one.
  12. To Be Proud Of Their Talents – Every person on Earth has at least one thing they are good at, often several. Encourage your daughter’s talents and passions in every way.
  13. To Be Someone That Can Be Trusted – Trustworthiness is so important in every facet of life. A friend wants to know they can trust you with a secret. A lover wants to know they can trust you with their heart. A boss wants to know they can trust you with responsibility. Teach them to be trustworthy, always.
  14. To Be A Good Person – What does it mean to be “good”? To be kind, loving, responsible, have integrity…a number of wonderful traits come to mind. Teach them to be good daughters, friends, workers, partners, good to the planet, ect.
  15. To Be A Success (And To Measure It) – Success can be measured in so many ways, and that is something you have to teach your child. It isn’t about always ending up where you intended, or planned. It can be a surprise.
  16. To Be Generous – Generosity of spirit is a great term. It means more than just being generous with money, but also with time, affection, and many more elements of life.

We can teach our daughters these traits, and improve their lives from the very moment they start to build their own.

Tyler Jacobson is a father, husband, and freelancer, with experience in writing and outreach for organizations that help troubled teen girls and their parents. Tyler has offers tasteful humor and research backed advice to readers on parenting tactics, problems in education, issues with social media, mental & behavioral disorders, addiction, and troublesome issues raising teenage girls. Connect with Tyler on: Twitter | Linkedin​