Our road towards Father’s Day continues, and today we feature another great dad, Scott Behson.
Scott Behson, PhD, is an Associate Professor of Management at Fairleigh Dickinson University, a busy involved dad, and an overall grateful guy. He runs the www.FathersWorkandFamily.com blog dedicated to helping fathers better balance work and family and encouraging more supportive workplaces, and writes on work and family issues for the Good Men Project online men’s magazine. He lives in Nyack, NY with his lovely wife, Amy, and awesome 8-year-old son, Nick. Contact him @ScottBehson on twitter or Behson@fdu.edu.
Here is our interview with Scott:
My first memory as a father is…
My wife had to have an emergency C-section, so my experience of Nick’s birth was complicated. On the one hand, I was overjoyed at becoming a father, but I was also scared out of my mind for my wife. Even though my view of all the surgery and blood was blocked by a barrier, it was difficult to see my mostly-sedated wife in such vulnerable circumstances.
Once Nick was born, cleaned up and checked by the nurse, Amy and Nick got a brief moment together, and my heart was overfilled. Then, Amy had to go to the recovery room and I spent the first hour of Nick’s life standing next to him in the warming tray, touching his little fingers and toes and vowing to him I would do all I could to be sure he would have a happy life. When my parents and in-laws were cleared to meet Nick, I hurried to my wife’s side- she groggily assured me she was okay and wanted me to be with Nick. She dozed off and I stayed with her for a while before rejoining Nick and the new grandparents.
The funniest thing my son does is…
My son cannot walk 10 feet without either cartwheeling or performing a round-off or front handspring- or without beginning an imaginary light-saber battle with an invisible opponent. He is so active and lively that it is infectious.
We have channeled his activity to a great gymnastics program, where he is pretty amazing. I also have almost daily light-saber battles with Nick, and we’ve created a cool story of our characters (Darth Tarraco and Qui-Son) in the post Episode 6 Star wars universe. His imagination and focus on all things Jedi is really entertaining.
What did you get your baby’s Mama for Mother’s Day?
My wife, Amy, is the funniest person I know (she is a professional theater actress) and was raised on Monty Python. So, I got her the complete DVD collection of Monty Python’s Flying Circus (16 DVDs in all!!!) and a pretty necklace. I worked with my son on his home-made project for her. She loved all the gifts!
We also have a family tradition of “birthday cake in bed” for whomever’s birthday it is. We extended this to Amy for Mother’s day. Finally, I organized a “collective Mother’s day card” with guys from the facebook Dad Bloggers group and 14 of us surprised our wives with our words of love all over the internet.
If you and your wife could vacation without your kids, where would you go?
It is a mistake to stop doing couple things after having kids.
We’re lucky enough to make a pretty good living, have flexible jobs and have parents who are happy to take Nick for us- allowing us to travel. As a result, we make it a point to do this at least once or twice a year.
Over the past few years, we’ve been to Charleston, Memphis, Savannah, Dublin, Venice and we will soon be taking a week in Madrid/Seville (Nick’s 8 and can go a week at the in-laws, when he was younger, shorter trips were required). Marriage and life should not be put on hold past-kids if you can manage it. You have to keep feeding the relationship with your spouse.
If you could go on any vacation with your kids, where would you go?
So far, we’ve been to Tahoe (where my wife’s brother lives), Bermuda (where the in-laws have a time-share) Yeah yeah, I sponge off my in-laws. We’ve also been to Disney a few times. We’ll start doing national parks soon- Yosemite, Grand Canyon, etc. I can’t wait to see the Grand Canyon with him.
What’s your favorite meal to cook for your kids?
My son is a picky eater. I’m sure we erred somewhere along the line, but have been managing this situation pretty well over the past few years. For the past 2 years, Nick has to try a new food for four straight days every week. He still hates most things, but we’ve been slowly expanding his menu so that he can actually live in the world.
Despite this, Grilled Cheese is the #1 item on the menu most days. Some days, grilling up one seems like a Sysphusian nightmare, but I sometimes get creative- for his birthday meal, I made him a quadruple-decker grilled cheese and he almost lost his mind. (I have a picture of this if you want).
How are you like your own dad?
I hope I am a LOT like my dad- he rocks. My dad is kind and generous, and very sociable. I share some of his intensity, and make a conscious effort to shield Nick from this side of me. But I am being overly picky. Living up to my father’s example is something I strive for every day, and if I can even approximate how great he is, I will have done an excellent job as a dad.
My greatest wish is that, when Nick is an adult, we will have as close a relationship as the one my Dad and I share now.
My most traumatic parenting experience was when…
When my son was 4, he broke his leg attempting a triple axel off of some playground equipment at his pre-school. I feared he would be absolutely miserable being unable to run and play as actively as he was used to. After the pain subsided, however, Nick was a total champ! He kept up his spirits, and insisted on maintaining all his activity- pre-school, play-dates, etc. despite being confined to his stroller. In fact, we made what we called a “Nicky cart” out of an old furniture dolly so he could scoot around the house- he would wheel away all day. A week after his cast was removed, he was back jumping off the same playground equipment. He hasn’t stopped being a daredevil since. What a trooper! I really admire his spirit.
What sports team can your kids never like?
I’m a Jets fan but would never inflict this horrible fate on my son, so he’s free to choose his own football team. I think he should pick one of the NY teams for every sport because rooting for out-of-town teams is just poor form.
However, he can NEVER choose the Patriots, Red Sox or Celtics (despite my in-laws’ best attempts), or especially the Dolphins whom I hate with a white-hot irrational passion (grrr O’Brien over Marino!).
Make sure you head over and check out Scott’s website, Father’s Work and Family. Also, you can follow Scott on Facebook and Twitter.