It’s amazing how many people are foolish enough to believe that father’s aren’t important. In fact, however, children count on dads for validating their self-worth.
Each parent plays a separate role in building the self-esteem of a child. A mother’s role is to instill value in the child. Dad’s role is to validate it. If mom does her job, but dad doesn’t follow up with the validating, the child may go out seeking it elsewhere. This could lead to inappropriate relationships for both boys and girls.
What is Fatherly Validation?
But, what is this validation that dad needs to provide? Well, it’s the equivalent of a “stamp of approval.” It helps a child understand that they’re loved, as well as accepted for exactly who they are, no matter what.
A father’s validation tells a child that he/she is an important and valued part of the family. In other words, the child learns that she/he is a beautiful person who is truly worthy of dad’s adoration.
You may ask, “Can’t I just tell my child all of these things?” Well, of course you have that option. As a matter of fact, you most definitely should. However, since actions always speak louder than words, it’s just as important that a father teach his child these things using much more than mere verbal expressions. Kids need to be shown this validation, as well.
10 Tips to Help Fathers be Successful Dads to Teens
Here are ten tips to follow to help dad’s successfully raise teenagers:
- Understand what moments are important to teens. The only way to be there for your teen during critical moments is to learn about the moments they consider important. If not, your teen may experience relationship problems and behavioral issues.
- Know the important of their friends. A critical part of a teen’s transition into a higher level of independence is the choice to give friends prominent roles in his/her life. Learn to understand this and deal with it accordingly.
- Encourage them to choose quality friends. Figure out ways to do this, and the right ways to handle things if they choose the wrong friends.
- Monitor cell phone usage. Dads should never wait until they receive a high cell phone bill before managing a teen’s usage.
- Be someone your teen can turn to during needy times. Many experts advise against trying to be your teen’s friend. But, you can reassure your teen that you’re always there when needed.
- Learn to read between the lines. Teens are known for jabbering with friends, but communicating with dad using single syllables. Learn to decipher between cranky moments and cries for help.
- Teach your teen how to properly manage money. Whether your teen has a job or lives solely off of you, money-management skills are very important. Fathers should help teens learn how they should save for the future, and manage money in general.
- Fathers should teach their teens how to drive. Learning how to drive a car is another important part of a teenager’s transition into adulthood. Remember that you’re also teaching her/him personal responsibility and accountability on the road.
- Help teenagers get prepared for college. This may seem like an intimidating task. But, you should take responsibility for helping your teen find ways to pay for his/her college education, as well as how to save for it.
- Enjoy a teen-friendly home. Want your teen to enjoy being at home? Then, you’ll have to make it a place where her/his friends feel welcome. Otherwise, your teen will probably prefer hanging out somewhere else.