Gary Myers is the NFL columnist for the New York Daily News. He has authored three books: The Catch, a look at the iconic 1981 NFC Championship Game between the Cowboys and 49ers; Coaching Confidential, which details the pressures of being an NFL head coach; and the New York Times bestseller Brady vs. Manning, an inside look at the greatest rivalry in NFL history. Myers has been covering the NFL since 1978. He was a member of the cast of HBO’s Inside The NFL and the YES Network’s This Week in Football. Currently the host of WFAN’s Chalk Talk, he is a voter for the Pro Football Hall of Fame and a former adjunct professor at Syracuse University. His own experiences coaching and watching his three kids play sports was the inspiration for My First Coach.

Tom Brady’s father is an estate planner. Jim Harbaugh’s father had a long career as a college coach. Archie Manning played fourteen years in the NFL and never made the playoffs, but his sons Peyton and Eli won a combined four Super Bowls. Joe Montana is considered by many to be the greatest quarterback of all time, but his two sons bounced around college football with limited success. Jameis Winston’s father supported his family working overnight highway construction in Alabama. Derek Carr’s father moved the family to Houston after Derek’s older brother, David, was drafted by the Texans.

My First Coach goes behind the scenes to explore the unique relationship between these and other quarterbacks and their fathers, as well as investigate various approaches to parenting through their stories. Can young athletes overcome helicopter parents? How did the kids with NFL aspirations deal with their fathers who’d already made it? What kind of pressure did they have to overcome? What kind of pressure did the father who succeeded put on his son to be an athlete? Would the expectations be lower and the results greater if the father was an attorney or doctor? Was it better for the fathers to be overbearing, or borderline disinterested?

Gary sits down with me to talk about his new book, fatherhood and more.

Art Eddy: Let’s first talk about your book. Congratulations on your latest book that is called My First Coach. The book hits home here at Life of Dad. Your book takes a look at NFL quarterbacks and their relationships with their fathers. I heard that you got inspired to write this book when you were watching your son’s baseball games. What was it about watching those game that inspired you to write this book?

Gary Myers: I had coached his T-Ball team, which was about when he was five years old through eighth grade. I reluctantly had to turn it over to his high school coach. I would have preferred to have coached his high school team myself. (Both laugh.)

We always have been very close, but I think our mutual love of baseball even though I am a football writer, baseball has always been my favorite sport. He turned out to be very good at it. He was the captain of his high school baseball team. The fact that he had a great interest in it and I coached the team I think we bonded over that.

When he read my Brady Versus Manning book and was reading about the relationship between Tom and Tom Sr. and Peyton and Archie, he was really drawn to that. He mentioned that after reading the book he had a great idea. It was to expand that concept. He said why don’t you find eight to ten quarterbacks and if the dads are still alive talk to them too about their relationship and whether they were supportive or indifferent. Write about all the different dynamics that go into a father son relationship. I thought that was a great idea. I was able to sell it to Hachette, who is part of Grand Central Publishing. For the last fifteen months that I have been working on it they were very excited about the project. My son was really my inspiration. In writing the book I felt like I was able to draw upon a lot of my own experiences which helped me relate better to what I was hearing from the quarterbacks and their fathers.

AE: Was there a father and son dynamic that surprised you while were doing research for your book?

GM: Probably Phil Simms’ relationship with his dad. I have known Phil since 1979. So I know him longer and better than any player I have ever covered. I didn’t know about his father being an alcoholic and growing up with seven brothers and sisters in a really small house in Louisville and that money was tight. Phil at a young age was a newspaper delivery boy for the Louisville Courier Journal.

So hearing all of that when I thought I knew everything there was to know about Phil that there was so much more to his life that I didn’t know. It made me very confident that nobody else knew it except for his family because it has never been written before. So that is probably the most surprising and more compelling chapter. Phil had a lot of obstacles in his childhood. His father wasn’t very supportive. The father went off on drinking binges. There wasn’t that much money in the house. Then he went and played at a small college. He became a first round draft pick. He was the seventh pick in the draft. His rise from where he was to where he got as a player and then his post football life is pretty admirable.

AE: Was there one united theme that you saw about the father son relationship that you saw while writing this book?

GM: For the most part except for the Simms relationship that we just talked about. These fathers were very supportive of their sons’ athletic endeavors. Whether they coached them or that they were there for moral support.  They all were able to lean on their fathers to help them with any issues that they had.

Jameis Winston’s dad was tough on him. He felt that he would never do anything that would satisfy him on the field because his dad would always pushing him to be the best that he could be. Derek Carr’s father on the other hand even when Derek would play a bad game in high school all he would do is point out the good things that he did. I think that they responded to the type of father that they had. I think that Jameis is an extremely hard worker. Derek is now the highest paid player in NFL history. Both of their teams, the Raiders and the Bucs this year are picked to be two teams that are on the rise. It is mainly because of Jameis Winston and Derek Carr.

AE: Did you look at fatherhood in a different way after you completed this book?

GM: I don’t know. Not really. I think I was able to relate to a lot of the stories that were in the book. My son just graduated college. He was a very good baseball player, but he wasn’t going to take it any further than that. At the age of ten or eleven I didn’t know that. I was encouraging him the same way that Joe Montana’s dad was encouraging him and the same way Tom Brady’s dad was encouraging him.

I feel that this book can be very special for middle school boys and girls and their parents. I really think that there is a life lesson in every one of the chapters in how the relationship helped make the player and the man that he became. Whether or not the kids and parents reading this book have any aspirations of becoming a professional athlete, but just want to excel at the level that they are now. I think there is something to be learned by these great players interacted with their fathers at a similar age.

AE: What popped into your mind when you found out that you were going to be a father for the first time?

GM: Wow, it was just an unbelievable thrill. The nine months couldn’t have gone fast enough for me. I was just so excited at the thought of becoming a dad and all the things that it would entail. The responsibility. I have two girls and a boy. Taking care of this little thing that was going to be so dependent on my wife and myself. It was just an incredible responsibility, but one that I embraced.

I have loved being a father. I am close to all three of my kids. Fortunately they all live in the New York area so I get to see them all the time.

AE: What are some of the core values you look to instill into your kids as they were growing up?

GM: First and foremost I want my kids to be kind to each other. Outside the house and this is going to sound trite, but I always found that it is true is that you treat people the way you want to be treated. You be nice to people because you want them to be nice to you. You are no better than anybody else. Don’t look down on people and don’t take advantage of them.

Just the basic values that my parents taught me. I am proud to say that I have three really good kids. They are all doing well in their careers. They are good people. Fortunately I don’t worry too much about them on a day to day basis because I know that my parents instilled great values in me and my wife’s parents instilled great values in her. We did the best we could to instill those values in my three kids.

AE: What is the one biggest piece of advice you have for new dads?

GM: Get your sleep before your child is born. That is one thing I tell a lot of people. One thing that our pediatrician told us when my oldest was only about ten days old. I can’t even remember what brought this up in the conversation, but maybe we were asking him about her crying too much. Is that okay? We didn’t know. We were first time parents.

He started laughing. He said let me tell you something. Little kids little problems. Big kids big problems. Not to scare anybody, but the stuff you worry about when your kid is one or two years old and hopefully there are no major health issues. I am just talking about every day stuff that we all obsess over especially when we are first time parents really pale in comparison in what you face later in life. A lot of your kid’s failures and they are going to fail at things hurt you more than when you went through it yourself.

Whether it is not getting into the college of their choice or not being asked to the prom by the person they want to be asked by or when they go to college not getting into the classes they want or getting a bad dorm freshman year. I think you take much harder as a parent than you do when you go through it yourself.

Life of Dad Quick Five

AE: Do you guys have a favorite family movie that you all love to watch together?

GM: The Game Plan. Do you want to know why? It is because I had a 15 second cameo in it. (Both laugh.) No, but my middle daughter and I have memorized all the lines from How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days. She is 25 now, but when she was 14 or 15 we just loved that movie. We watched it over and over again to the point where we could turn down the sound and do the whole movie ourselves if we wanted to.

AE: Do you guys have a favorite song that you all like to sing to or dance to as a family?

GM: Well my daughters each have come with me separately to a (Bruce) Springsteen concert. Bruce was always my favorite to go to. It still is. They got to understand why I have always liked his music.

AE: Describe the perfect family vacation.

GM: Aruba is our favorite vacation spot.

AE: What was the first sporting event that you covered as a writer?

GM: If we want to cover high school basketball games that I covered when I was in high school and college games when I was in college those would be the first. If we are talking professionally was probably a New York Cosmos soccer game at Giants Stadium.

AE: Favorite sports event to cover was….

GM: If I could just change your words a bit. If we are talking about my favorite sports event I was ever at which I wrote about in the Acknowledgement section in the book. I wrote about all the Super Bowls that I have ever been to. I have been to everyone since Super Bowl XVI and we are coming up to LII. I have covered Final Fours. I have been to World Series and things like that. My all-time favorite sports event that I was ever at was at my son’s senior year in high school playoff baseball game.

This was 2013 and my son’s school hadn’t won a playoff game since 2006. He pitched a complete game. I don’t remember how many hits it was. I think it was three. He struck out seven. When he struck out the last hitter it was other than my kids being born and my wedding day it might have been the greatest thrill that I have ever had. I can only imagine what it is like to have a son win a Super Bowl or to have a daughter that wins an Olympic Gold Medal. Watching him pitch in a playoff game where there was a lot pressure and a lot of people watching and him excelling in it is probably the greatest athletic event I have ever been to.

Follow Gary on Twitter at @garymyersNYDN and get his book My First Coach wherever books are sold.