Have you ever been pushed to the brink of violence? A dad in our community has and he reached out for help in curbing his pent up aggression before he lashes out as his kids.
On The Verge of Violence — An Angry Dad Reaches Out For Help From The Life of Dad Community
Posted by Life of Dad on Sunday, October 29, 2017
Charles Rues Martin: Homie….. ima need you to take several seats…. the problem is not your son… you have a bigger issue with anger and it was there before your son… find the root of your anger and cut it…. learn to love your kid…. hug him instead of walking away… please realize that you CANNOT walk away from a two year old…. and remember he’s two.
John Hoy: Break the moment, do a stupid dance or give them a hug. Ice cream works a treat. I know the answer is simplistic but I used to get so angry that it scared me, oh and another thing, put your phone down. Good luck.
David Sheppard: If it helps you aren’t alone and I know exactly what you mean – my son is five and it still happens sometimes but we’ve found three things help – One is ‘Tagging In’ the other partner who can be calm and that works both ways, the second is walking away so you can calm down but returning within a few minutes calmer and able to carry out the discipline the last is consistency – it’s the hardest but it’s also the one that works the best… I am a very long way from a perfect parent and the most amazing things in our lives can drive us the most crazy but these things did help us and I hope maybe they’ll help you too.
William D. Hawkins: I’m sorry, but picture how you would feel if you were in a glass box and the whole world could see you disciplining your child at that moment. We tend to be on our best behavior when there is an audience. 1. Is the behavior your child exhibiting age appropriate; if so relocate the toddler and smile. Remember: the child is 2, DON’T TAKE IT PERSONAL.
Matthew Zigrest: I’ve walked away from my children, it’s ok. Especially at that age. You have a cute tiny terrorist in your house. Sometimes you need to walk away and get yourself under control.
I repeat.
IT’S OK.
Jon Gosselin: I have 6year old and 2 year old daughters. Some days they drive me crazy with fits and screaming…
When it comes to managing my frustration, if it’s my 6yr old we talk to her and try to get her to realize what she is doing wrong and work at solutions to make the problem better. It always helps to understand your child’s needs as their behaviors are meant to meet their needs just as yours do.
My 2 year old is more difficult but still we talk to her. And if that isn’t working I pull her aside and be affirmative during our conversation. I give her choices, ie: clean up your toys or what ever is left on floor goes into box until you show better respect for them.
I also read a lot of personal growth books that help me understand relationships, parenting, growing as a person which benefits myself and my family as well as my business relations.
If all else fails a cup of coffee after sending kids to bed.
Brad Turner: I used to get angry at my two year old as well. Then I had a health scare and it made me realize every moment with him is precious, why waste it with negativity. Since this change my son doesn’t act out as much, he comes to me for daddy cuddles which I rarely got before. A calmness comes over me when he does go ballistic and it calms him. Kind words, understanding and love do wonders.
Geoff Taylor: Family counseling, or find a local parenting group or class. It’s not so much about psychological therapy as it is about helping you learn better methods. Parenting definitely doesn’t come with a precise manual.
I grew up with an angry parent. Now I struggle with the opposite — out of my determination to avoid anger with my children I tend to avoid discipline out of fear of being like my parent. In its own way what Ive been doing is just as harmful in my own way.
It is very difficult for me to be firm, stand my ground, and say no because I am too cautious to avoid what I went through. I’m having to learn that discipline done right does not mean I’m being a terror to my children, no matter how much it does feel that way.
Find the balance and control to be the best parent you can be.
Sam Thomson: You have the problem not your kid. You need to learn how to control yourself, you shouldn’t have these hostile feelings about your kid. Learn to center yourself. Your emotions shouldn’t be so easily influenced just cause you don’t like something. Getting frustrated is one thing, take a breathe. Wanting to discipline should be about the child learning, not to “make you feel better”. You sound like you have a greater anger management issue. For this, you can consult an expert such as a counselor in Columbia, SC.
Flickr photo by Philip Bitnar.