This is my tie breaking entry for the Official F4F (Father 4 Fathers) Dad Blog Kumite semi-final round. It is a fun, head to head competition that F4F set up on Facebook. It has been fun to get to know some of the other daddy bloggers (check them out) and the mommy bloggers who have served as judges. Be sure to check out my worthy opponent The Dude of the House. I have been tasked with the challenge of explaining in 250 words “What it means to be a great dad in 2012.” Here is my entry…
I rather you'd just say, "Thank you..."
Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles. Diaper Date 1653. Tonight, I waterboarded a spider during my daughter’s tub. She was enjoying her water playtime when I noticed an uninvited visitor. The 8 legged intruder was sitting quietly on the sink watching. Waiting. My daughter had a run-in with a spider last year and I wasn’t going to let it happen again.
Like a ninja, I deftly captured my prey in a plastic cup and slid it into the sink.
“Daddy, what are you doing?”
“Nothing, sweetie.”
I turned the water on and the spider balled up. When he refused to state his business or reveal the location of his secret rebel base, I completed the deed by blanketing him with a tissue and flushing him down the toilet.
You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth. Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to be guarded by dads with cups. I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for the arachnid and you curse spider waterboarding. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that the spider’s death, while tragic, probably saved tubby time. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves tubby…You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.
What does it take to be a great dad in 2012? Humility. Compassion. And a plastic cup.
Captain Out.
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