On each of the 30 days leading up to Father’s Day, Life of Dad will feature a different incredible father from around the world.
Today we hang with Angus Nelson, a speaker, writer, & stay-at-home-daddy – though, not necessarily in that order. His first book, Love’s Compass: How Do You Recover After a Broken Relationship?, shares his story of redeeming relationships with transparency not often shared by a man. As in all things, Angus believes that when you show yourself vulnerable you give others permission to do the same. You can read Angus’ life observations and inspirational posts at www.angusnelson.com. Now, on to the interview!
I really became a father when… My wife and I had both been previously married when our lives intersected. I had no children, my wife had a nine year old daughter. Being any child’s step parent would certainly be a challenge, though I felt absolutely prepared… foolish, foolish me.
The first year was complicated. The second year disastrous. And “why” you ask? The young lady I had come to parent had already suffered through the events of a disconnected father before me. Only now, damn-determined to test, rail, and undermine me… just to see if I’d stick around.
I did.
I became a father after two years of hellacious fervor, the day my baby girl broke down and said, “I love you Daddy. You may not be my birth father, but you’ll always be my Daddy.”
Several months later, my baby-girl asked, “Daddy, when I get married, will you walk me down the aisle?”
At that moment I knew, come hell or high-water, I could be a father… even to one not my of my own blood.
My kids make me laugh when… They tell jokes that clearly make no sense at all… The more ridiculous, the more I laugh.
Favorite daddy cocktail once the kids crash? Being from Wisconsin, that would be a Brandy Old Fashioned Sweet – preferably with Korbel Brandy.
Dream date night with your lady, where would you go? An oceanside restaurant with all you can eat crab would start the evening. Then we’d simply stroll the beach and cuddle while the sun set. By the time it was dark we’d be too tired for anything else anyway.
What is the hardest thing about fatherhood? As a SAHD, I have a creative drive causing me to want to ‘produce’ and ‘provide’ for my family. I crave accomplishments, wrestling the tension of knowing I’m doing good things for my kids/family and wanting to match that professionally. This can cause me to grow impatient, easily aggravated, and prevent me from being present with my family… it’s a constant struggle.
What’s in your man cave? Wish I had one.
How many hours of sleep each night? About 6 to 7 hours a night.
What food that your kids eat do you like the most? I’ve become a sucker for Welch’s Fruit Snacks and waffles, but not together.
How has fatherhood changed in the last 20 years? I think men are beginning to participate more in the relational/emotional side of the family structure. Not so long ago, dads were comfortable being distant and aloof. All of that seems to be transitioning into a more involved, affectionate dad.
Dream family vacation? Taking a year off and traveling around the world. We’d educate our children with experiential learning, visiting and walking the grounds of history. I think the adventure and variety of it all would be life altering for all of us.
Keep up with Angus on his newly redesigned website, and make sure you connect with him on Facebook and Twitter.
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