Here is a sticky subject I’m pondering.
What does it mean to be a father, and more to the point, a father to a daughter?
As men we are hardwired for ruggedness, outdoorsy stuff, and a typical lack of emotional empathy. So how do we bridge that gap when blessed with the opportunity to raise a girl?
Well, if I said I had all the answers then we would have a big problem. I don’t have all the answers; I generally have more questions. But what I do have is eight years of experience.
They say that an expert is someone who has spent over 10,000 hours on their craft. Well, as a dad of an 8-year-old little girl, that makes me a grand master (8 years = 70,080 hours, 8 hours a day of fathering = 23,360 hours).
So all I can really share is my experience, a few insights, and my personal thoughts on what I feel it means to raise a little girl.
So what have I learned?
Girls are emotionally driven, unpredictable as the wind, yet downright amazing.
I never really know how she’ll react to a situation . . . until she does. Sometimes she laughs uncontrollably, other times the tears flow freely. But no matter the case, I’m always kept on my toes, and there to provide my shoulder when needed.
My daughter has opened my eyes to new challenges, different emotions, and a world full of fuzzy pink things.
We enjoy our time together, even when I’m expected to sip tea with her dollies or have my nails painted with Glitterbels nail polish.
But here’s the cool part. I haven’t yet had to shelve my more caveman tendencies. This has given both of us a shared joy of the outdoors, a workout partner while spending time together, and an adventurer whom I have trouble keeping up with at times.
No . . . adventure within a man is not lost when a girl comes into the picture . . . adventure is reborn and given a whole new name
I’ve learned that I just have to keep my eyes open for how the opportunities unfold. It may not always look like I expect. Yet, I’ve found adventure at every turn while being her father.
The New Adventure
As father’s, we have a duty to mold and encourage our little girls into becoming women of substance and moral principle. Sitting on the sidelines, while thinking the wife will take care of all this, is a recipe for disaster.
We are their fathers. The foremost role-model of what it means to be a man, husband, and father. We should possess and emulate the qualities that we want our daughters to desire in their future (hopefully very distant) husband.
- I’m sure it would be similar if I had a son: I would want to model the characteristics in my behavior that I would like to see in his life.
So the moment she is placed in our arms, we have a new adventure. A quest to be more than a provider. An obligation to engage her on a daily basis in a way that will encourage her self-esteem, build her confidence, and show her how valuable she is.
This is the monumental burden and blessing that we carry as father’s: demonstrating right from wrong, providing opportunity for positive growth, instilling lessons without breaking their spirits, and so much more. As father’s we play an immeasurably active role in our children’s lives.
Personal Growth
I can’t begin to tell you how much I have grown as a man, while raising our daughter. It almost seems contrary to think that diving into to a world of little girly things will make you a stronger man, but . . . it will if you embrace it.
Together we have share so much, grown so much, and had the best adventures.
Nevaeh is only eight, the possibilities are endless for what is to come. But I know that if I keep up my part in her life, she will not fail to continue to produce spectacularly as she grows.