Dad Needs Advice On How To Punish His Child For Spitting And Finds Help From A Community of Dads

There are many different ways to punish and child and with every choice, there seems to be other parents who will ridicule you for your methods. When Life of Dad user Josh Miller asked for help with his spitting 6-year-old, many dads chimed in with advice. Here is a sampling of the options the Life of Dad Facebook community gave Josh.

Anthea Markham: My cousins son was two when he spit at my dad. my dad calmly grabbed him by the arms and held him in front of him, and said “do you know what will happen if you spit on anyone again?” 2-year-old shakes his head. dad says “if you spit on anyone again, i will bury you in the garden.” couple weeks later my cousin asks her son what will happen if he spits, he says “uncle will bury me in the garden” still cracks us up that he remembers that. he has never spit again.

Ástþór Knudsen Margrètarson: When my daughter starts. I don’t yell. I don’t raise my voice. I firmly just ask her do go in her room. And when she is ready, to come and apologize and tell me how she feels. When she apologize I always hug her and take her in my lap and we talk about how she feels and what she is thinking.

Because 90% of the time when kids throw tantrum or give you attitude its because they dont know how to express their feelings. They are still learning.. I started doing this when she was 6 years old.. she is 9 now going 10 in 5 months. She often now just comes to me and asks to talk.. this has worked great for us. I never punish her. There hasn’t been any need to.. she is more relaxed than before I started doing this. And the bond between us got stronger every day. I admit that it took almost half a year to get this working. And I had to draw deep breaths and count to ten before asking her to go to her room and think about what she did. She does not look at it as punishment. She sees it as a time for her to think about what she is feeling and what she wants to talk to me about. And in our case it took 6 months almost because she was so mad at her mom… and she did not know how to express all that was going on inside of her.. that came out all wrong.

After I started this she has learned how to express her feelings and she knows no matter what, I am always there for her to talk to.

Kelsey Stewart: Six is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong, and “I’m disappointed” is not going to comprehend the severity of what she did. If my kids did that (5 y/o girl and 7 y/o boy) I’d spank their ass. That’s disrespectful and uncalled for.

Matt Erulkar: Clearly there is something wrong here. Speaking as a mental health practitioner at the Tampa FL rehab center, your child needs to learn appropriate behavior and boundaries. But more concerning is that she may be acting out because something has happened to her. You also don’t make it clear if your wife is her mother or stepmother. I suggest iop program NJ for your daughter and possibly, some family therapy before the situation descends irreparably.

Gerald Cook: Seems many here are little more than animals themselves.

There are obviously some serious issues if a 6 year old is spitting. Emotional and behavioral issues need to be addressed immediately. My feeling is there is a lot more going on here. Not enough information in the post to understand the real issue.

James Edwards: Time out, loss of TV privileges and assisting around the house. However, you can’t punish for something that has already happened. Discuss with your wife and find a compromise. Potentially talk to your daughter “that behavior was not cool. If it happens again there will be consequences etc”. Then if it does happen again she has been warned of what will happen…

Tomy Roberto: Make her stand outside and spit into the grass non-stop for as long as it takes regret to set in. Then, do it for ten more minutes. Those jaw muscles will get quite he workout. If that doesn’t cut it, make her hold a wall-sit position while she does that. Either way, isolate her to boredom while you think of the proper punishment.

Mark John Crews: Josh, you 6 yr old had been testing boundaries for a long time. Not just lately.
You and your wife need to step back and take an honest look at how you are doing thinks.
A 6 yr old knows better instinctively not to spit at a parent.
Something bigger is going on here. Good luck.

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Flickr photo by Lauren Powell-Smothers, used under Creative Commons license.