There are some very funny parents on the internet, so we decided to round up our favorite tweets of the week from some of the funniest moms and dads on Twitter! We hope you enjoy these as much as we did!
For more Twitter fun, don’t forget to join us over at @LifeofDadShow!
We had a great family trip to the zoo until we had to exit through the gift shop.
— Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) August 29, 2018
We can't afford to take our kids to a corn maze this year so we're just going to take them to an IKEA instead.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) August 30, 2018
If someone slams the bathroom door open, shouts, “That’s enough,” and storms back out, congratulations, you have a toddler and your shower’s now over.
— Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) September 2, 2018
8yo: Can I have a Go-Gurt?
Me: Yeah, but you can’t eat it on the couch.
8yo. UGH, FINE. Which snacks CAN I eat on the couch?The laziness is strong with this one.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) August 31, 2018
People say kids lack creativity nowadays, but my friend's daughter just built a kickass trap for her younger sister.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) August 28, 2018
In other news, it turns out that I am "forgets he has his glasses on at the public pool and then loses them while doing the obstacle course with his daughter, forcing the lifeguard to make everyone wait while she retrieves them from the bottom of the pool" years old…
— Chris Read (@CanadianDadBlog) August 30, 2018
I’m the Michael Jordan of skipping parts of a kid’s bedtime book.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 3, 2018
Parenting is weird because watching your child enthusiastically eat something for 10 minutes before saying it’s “too spicy” feels like a win
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) September 2, 2018
https://twitter.com/MAB1013/status/1035004312794030080
I told 2 to finish her sandwich if she wanted candy after dinner. When it was gone I gave her a sliced apple.
I asked if she was all done, thinking she forgot.
She replied "candy."
When the candy was finished I picked her up to find the sandwich, untouched, under her butt.
— 5KidsAndABunny (@5KidsandaBunny) August 28, 2018
Let’s get married and have kids so instead of using our years of education to change the world we can be butlers to tiny people who won’t stop screaming at us.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) August 30, 2018
7AM text from mom. Just a quick seven paragraphs.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) August 31, 2018
7: (silently sneaks up behind me and taps me on the shoulder)
Me: Yes?
7: (whispers into my ear) Do not trust Siri. She doesn’t have eyes. (Walks away)Who needs scary movies when you can just have kids?
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) August 30, 2018
Lunch out with 9 and five of his friends isn’t complete without me mouthing “I’m really sorry” several times to the manager.
— TheAlexNevil, Otherwise Blameless (@TheAlexNevil) August 31, 2018
Yelling at my kid to stop yelling is probably one of my favorite parenting conundrums.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) September 2, 2018
9: What’s “baby got back” mean in that song?
Me: I think it’s pretty obvious.
9: I don’t.
Me: Well, have you ever met a baby that doesn’t have a back?
9: What?
Me: Exactly.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) August 29, 2018
Coworker- Is..is everything ok at home?
Me- What? Yes. Oh, the black eye? Yah, 1yo just wanted me to know he was done with his sippy cup.
— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@PedersenAhmed) September 1, 2018
Teachers, when my kids go back to school with t-shirts that read “Mom Says I’m Your Problem Now,” just know I wasn’t a horrible person until I became a parent.
— Ms. Havisham (@MissHavisham) August 29, 2018
I must have missed the chapter in the baby books about where you intentionally rub baby shampoo into your eyes to double check that it doesn’t burn your kids’ eyes, yet here we are.
— The Mom at Law (@TheMomAtLaw) August 28, 2018
Me: Have you brushed your teeth?
8yo: How long can you go without brushing your teeth until you get a cavity?
Me: Soooo…no.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 29, 2018
“How I wonder what you are?”
You literally JUST said it was a little star. Nursery rhymes are dumb.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) August 29, 2018
Here's a little song I wrote about getting kids ready for school it's called "Let's Fight About Socks" and a one and a two
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) August 30, 2018
6 yo to 3 yo: Let's go upstairs and fight!
Me (concerned): Don't make a mess!
— Walking Outside In Slippers (@WalkingOutside) August 29, 2018