So here we go….the story of his arrival.
His due date was April 17. My wife started having some labor pains on March 21. I was VERY excited on the inside because my late father’s birthday is March 23. It would be amazing for my new son to share a birthday with the Pappy he wouldn’t get to know. (I love you dad. He may never know his pappy in life but I will make sure he knows the great role model he was for me and hope that I can be the same for him.) I had secretly been trying to will this to happen for weeks. It would be 36 weeks 3 days. I would repeat this to myself in my head while at work. My wife thought it might happen as she was having contractions. “Go, baby, go!!” I would think to myself. We went to bed the night of March 22 with my wife saying “I think we may have a baby tomorrow”. I woke up for work on the next day but it didn’t seem our little guy wanted to cooperate. I wasn’t upset. He was going to come into the world on his terms. My wife’s mother’s birthday is March 26. Maybe he would try that day. Nope, came and went with no progression of my wife’s contractions.
We had two false starts to the hospital in the next couple weeks. “They’re 5 minutes apart, I think we should go” my wife would say. I’d grab the hospital bag and away we would go. The nurses would hook up those straps that monitor the baby’s heartbeat and the intensity of contractions. His little heart would pitter pat away while we watched the contraction numbers go up and down at regular intervals. The nurses would come in and look at the printout and say “Yeah those contractions are pretty regular.” Both times we went in though they would eventually subside and we would be sent home. I was impressed with my wife. All those contractions and there was barely a complaint. It is something I’ve always admired about my wife. I know she has bad days and sure, she vents to me about them when she needs to but I think us being together has helped us both keep a more positive outlook on things. So, here we are, 2 paragraphs in and still haven’t got to the actual day yet. Well, your patience has paid off….
APRIL 12, 2016 0400 hours AST
I’m sleeping away and most likely snoring as usual with dreams of work and other exciting things I’m sure. I awake to my wife saying “Babe, my water just broke”. I’m out of bed in approximately 2.4 seconds and throwing some clothes on. I just so happen to throw on a t-shirt that my wife makes fun of a lot because it’s pretty old and says something about ninja monkeys. Anyway, we navigate up the spiral staircase and out to the car. She’s having some pretty painful contractions at this point so she sits in the back seat. Not really sits but situates in the back seat. We speed off to the hospital. Thank goodness it’s 4am and there’s no real traffic. I mean we live on an island so traffic is never horrible but very glad there was zero traffic. I revved our little sedan up and did my best race car driver with a pregnant wife in the back seat impression I could. I only tossed her over once so I think that’s a decent score. 🙂 Pull up outside the emergency room(only entrance that’s open at night) and run inside looking for a wheelchair. A very friendly and helpful employee(think he was a security guard) gives me a wheelchair and follows me outside. We get my wife into the chair and he says to leave the car there and get her upstairs. To the L&D ward we go!! Don’t worry my race car driver instincts went away and I was able to get her upstairs without rubbing the wall or fishtailing off the track. They knew we were coming as I had called before we left. I guess I forgot to tell you that part. Even now my brain is racing thinking of that morning. I help her into the bed of the intake room and run back down to move the car. The security guard was standing outside watching the car until I got back. I thanked him greatly and whipped the card into a parking spot to sprint back upstairs with the hospital bag.
It’s probably about 0425 hours at this point and the nurses say she is 5cm dilated already. “well that escalated quickly” I think. They get her into a delivery room. It’s about this time a very close friend of ours makes it as she will be there for delivery with us. My wife is having some VERY strong contractions now and handling it like a champ! She’s able to adjust to whatever position that helps. So happy the doctor and nurses didn’t force her to stay on her back. Anyway, it’s about 0530 or so now. The doctor comes in and checks on her…..It’s time to start pushing!!! What!?!? That’s not how it’s supposed to go for a first time mom! She’s supposed to slowly dilate and have to dance in the hallway, then have the doctor mention/threaten pitocin to get things going. Ummmmm, not today and not my son! He’s not having it!
The pushing begins. We did not do any birthing classes to prepare. We did what any normal person in this day and age does. We watched a bunch of videos on the interwebs. You push during the contraction and try to rest and get ready for the next one in between. Here we go!!! I’m very happy I put on my belt that day and that the belt had some elasticity. My wife in a moment of contraction pain grabbed right onto my belt buckle. She squeezed and pulled hard. I relaxed myself and just let it happen. “Remember to breathe babe!” is most likely what came out but who knows. Finally was able to readjust after a few contractions. She would squeeze my hand, grab my arm, hold the bed rails. “She dilated quickly and was ready to push so this baby will come out real quick with no problems” I thought. Yeah, ummm, not so much, especially for her. Started pushing at just after 0530 and was still pushing over 2 hours later. I did my absolute best to stay calm and to keep her focused. She only tried to give up once or twice screaming “I can’t do it” or “I’m done” or some other variation. Our dear friend was also a great help. My wife had to labor on her side for a bit as it was better for her and the baby.
When she first started pushing he was face up. The doctor explained(after it was over) why this was bad. Basically….physics. I am very happy the doctor simply did what he could to help him twist around without ever telling us what he saw early. She was in pain and I was …shit, I don’t know but I was just focused on her. After 2 hours the doctor mentioned something for pain but it was way too later for an epidural and we didn’t want anything affecting our son so my tough as nails wife gutted it out sans pain killers. Did I mention how much I admire and love her. She is amazing! Our little guy started to crown. “HOLY HELL, I can see his head! You’re almost there, just a little more”. It seemed like another forever until his little head made it out. It would start to come out during a contraction/push and then slip back in again. “This is not the time for your first game of peek-a-boo mister!” He made his final push into the real world at just after 0800 hours that day.
I cannot describe the feelings. I had tears that transcended joy. He was A-MA-ZING! He did not scream but calmly opened his eyes and started breathing. The doctor cleared his nose and gave him a quick wipe and then placed him on my wife’s chest. I was in love with this little guy before he was born. Now, to be able to see him, to hear him, to touch him….My soul that once was limp with sorrow thinking we had lost him…was now exploding with love, pride, and awe. The potential we held together that morning was limitless.
The doctor waited for the pulse to stop in the umbilical cord then clamped it off and handed me the scissors. I was shaking and trying to focus through the tears so I didn’t do it wrong or hurt our son. I steadied my hand and lowered those scissors. I was cutting the cord that provided him nutrition and life through my wife. I was giving him his own life and promising to always be the best dad I could be in that moment. We were now responsible for pointing this new soul in the right direction and nurturing his potential until he is ready to unleash it.
This is Booker about 30 minutes after his birth. He was calm and almost wanted to smile. While there aren’t enough words to describe everything I felt that day, this picture represents my vow to do my best for him as long as I’m on this earth to do so.
