Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles. Diaper Date 1784. The Diaper Dweller is now walking. Let me rephrase that as he has been walking for days now. The Diaper Dweller is walking with more accuracy. This is dangerous for everyone. Especially the furniture. Want to know what it looks like?
You know those races where you stick your head on a baseball bat and run around it 10 times and then try to run a straight line? Now imagine a sumo wrestler trying to do that with a belly full of water. The only thing missing? The victory shriek. The Diaper Dweller likes to celebrate before completing his mission. He rises to his feet, raises his arms like Ali versus Foreman, and shrieks like a school girl before he moves. Then he progressively walks with a smile on his face.
Every time he walks he seems surprised – like he has just discovered his superpower. He walks and shrieks and walks and shrieks. And then he falls. It shakes the whole house. Okay, that may be a bit of a hyperbole, but you definitely notice when he goes from walking to sitting. Needless to say, the Diaper Dweller is not going to be a ninja any time soon.
His perambulations have put a number of things in peril. Papers are now more accessible, the Eldest’s artwork, the pets, and random toys and trinkets. The DD’s hurricane of havoc is spinning on multiple cylinders. And spinning with glee.
Heaven help us when he can run. But we will cross that bridge when we get to it.
In the meantime, we recommend shin guards, knee pads, and other protective gear if you are going to visit. Thank goodness we stuff his diaper so he has extra padding when he falls. Saves our flooring, too.
For now, Captain out.